Last Saturday, I said goodbye to my duplex. I left my handprint in an awful shade of yellowish tan paint called "Almond Paste." Don't worry, the handprint is behind the cabinet in the bathroom. As LB and I groaned over the poor choice of paint color chosen by our landlord, and as I scrubbed every last bit of the house clean, I decided I wanted to leave a mark on the house, as it had on me. So I decided that a handprint would be perfect. We had taken the cabinet off the wall so it was easier to paint, and staring at the white square on the wall where the shelf had been, it just felt right.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, this house has seen me through a lot of things. A roller coaster of emotions, roommates, and seasons. I turned off the air conditioner that two years ago, I would have given anything for. Instead, we laid on the floor, listening to Ella and Louis, too hot to move. Books went into storage until August 15. Books about soccer that once held concert tickets and children's books about a bad hair day. I packed away the speakers that have been the source of a few of the best dance party days ever. I closed the blinds that were finally fixed only a few months ago and replaced the back porch lightbulb- you know, the fixture that was filled with bugs. And I had a choice to make. These flashbacks, these moments that I was running through in my mind, what would I do with them? Would I keep them with me, allowing the hurt I felt to hold me back? Or allowing the moments of bliss cloud my view of what I am blessed with currently?
And so when I walked out that door, I locked the door on the memories I had made inside these walls. It's time to move forward. To be thankful for the beautiful moments, but not dwell.
I set "Crooked Teeth" as my ringtone, as it was two summers ago. But, it will no longer be a reminder of... of anything. It's just a ringtone. And it's 100 degrees, so it's fitting.
I cut and colored my hair... for me. And no one else.
I heard Hide and Seek and sang along.
I watched Anime with girls I adore and had a blast.
I drove past Falls Creek, and smiled.
And most importantly, I realized that Winter is finally over. Summer is here, and I have never been more ready. Bring it on.