this is why i sleep outside.

www.coburnsayyes.com

"February 23, 2010

Dear Dr. Coburn,

My name is Bethany Haley, and I am the President and Founder of eXile international. I am also a psychologist who has a practice in Nashville, Tn and who does trauma work and art therapy with the children who have been tortured by the Lords Resistance Army. Please
find the drawings of the former child soldiers and formerly abducted children. I returned from Congo and Uganda three weeks ago where I heard stories of:

NORMAN who was forced to kill his parents, chop them to pieces and eat their flesh. He is 12. He wept uncontrollably as he told me his story. His name is NORMAN and he is real.

I listened to BARBARA’s story of how she ran from the LRA rebels, but was caught after they shot her in the head. She survived. The scar on her right temple proves it. She is also 12. She did not cry when she told her story. Her heart is frozen.

I heard RICHARD’s story of how he was abducted and also forced to kill his parents and hack them to pieces with a machete. His shirt was drenched with tears when he was finished. He is 14. He is real. He is a great leader and beautiful young man.

I heard ROSE tell of the children she works with in the trauma center in Gulu, Uganda. How the rebels of the LRA forced a boy to kill his brother by biting him to death, Forcing him to tear pieces of flesh off of his brother’s body while he was alive - until he died.

I heard how the LRA forced two other brothers to slice pieces of flesh off of their sister’s face while she was alive and then rape her. She survived – but one of the brothers killed himself out of guilt.

Dr. Coburn, these are real children with real stories. These stories are not new. This has been happening for 23 years. Twenty-Three years, Dr. Coburn. It is time to stand up for what is right.

Dr. Coburn, you are putting a hold on a bill that would finally call the United States to take action against such crimes against children. Some things are not ok. Some things are bigger than technicalities and dollar bills.

This is one of them.

We ask you to stand up for what is right and just and release your hold on this bill. These children cannot come to you with their stories – but we can. We cannot release the hold on this bill to get it passed – only you have the power to do that. We ask you to use your
influence in honor of these children and in memory of those who have lost their lives.

You can read more of these stories on the blog on our website:
www.exileinternational.org.

Thank you for your time.

Best,
Dr. Bethany P. Haley, PhD, LCSW"

Some of the drawings that were attached with the letter, from the eXile children

So, if for some reason, you don't know yet- either by noticing that I look or smell like I've been living outside for a week, or by me telling you, or whatever- I have been holding out in front of Senator Tom Coburn's office since Friday Feb 26th. The hold out has now lasted 232 hours. Those of us who have been out there are standing in support of a bill that has gone before congress that requires the US to help end the 23 year long war in Northern Uganda, the longest running war in Africa, and to set up rehabilitation programs to help the recovery of Northern Uganda and set up sustainable economic opportunities. Currently the bill is blocked from passing by one person- Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn, who I greatly respect for his desire to keep our debt low and to maintain a responsible policy on overall spending. Let me stress that this campaign that we have been running is in no way an Anti-Coburn campaign. He held the bill originally because it increased spending by 40 million dollars. The bill has since been amended to say that the money would be pulled from ALREADY EXISTING funds for foreign aid through the state department, and thus the national debt would not be increased in any way. Let me rephrase that: whether or not this bill goes through, those funds will still be appropriated for foreign aid. No extra spending is added to the budget. That money can not go to "America's issues," because it IS set aside for foreign aid.
Though his demands have been met, he still refuses to withdraw his hold. I wont bore you with all the details, but feel free to comment and ask me about them and I will respond to you.

This letter was written to Senator Coburn by the president of eXile International. We read it every morning last week to remind us of why we are holding out in front of Senator Coburn's office and to help keep our focus on the children of Northern Uganda. The "sacrifices" we have had to make, though some are more than others, are absolutely nothing in comparison to what these children have been through for the past 23 years. The rain we are standing in today, the cold wind that has hit us every morning? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. This letter hit me really hard, and I would like you all to read it. I encourage you to check out www.coburnsayyes.com and sign the petition asking Senator Coburn to release his hold on the bill that could help end the war in Northern Uganda. If you'd like to do more, feel free to join us out in Oklahoma City at Main and Broadway- the Chase Bank building. :) We will be out there until Dr Coburn releases his hold on Senate Bill 1067.

Lonely Home: Part Trois

For the third time in the past year and half of me living here, I sit in my duplex with an empty second room. Three times have I watched a roommate pack up and leave. Three times have I called on the Lord in desperation to show me my faults as a roommate and help me determine why they left. And three times have I scrambled to find a new roommate as quickly as possible.
I'll tell you one thing, it sure does mess with your self-esteem. Luckily, this time, I know who is moving in. A good friend of mine was hurriedly looking for a place to live, as I was seeking someone to move in. The phone call to her was a reminder that the Lord is sovereign and is watching out for me, even when I feel that no one else is. And though I couldn't be more thrilled to soon be living with Laura, a woman who encourages me in my walk with the Lord and with whom I can talk about my struggles and my joys in Him, it still hurt to see the door close behind Audrey after we packed her bookshelf into the car.

As I sat in my vacant house earlier today, as I feel I've done so many times, I began to look back on my time in this little place I call home:

• It was on this porch that I sat with Cassie, talking about anything and everything, the smell of smoke strong and perfume sweet.
• This living room saw the best relationship I've ever been in, and the hardest break up I've gone through.
• It was in this hallway that I dropped to my knees and cried for two hours on the phone to my best friend after yet another frustrating day as a black sheep in the school of music.
  
• This kitchen... and Audrey... saw me fail at new recipes and rejoice with successes.
• These floors have held many a roadie and friend who needed a place to crash.
• This bedroom forced me to face my fear of night head on, as I realized that the Lord could walk me through it.

This house is a constant reminder of what I've been through, and how the Lord has been faithful to provide. He has walked me through laughter and tears in this house and has used each relationship that has come out of it in a different way.
My nest is not empty long. A good friend of mine just got a beautiful bird tattooed on her foot. We talked about how we like that birds can make their home anywhere, and out of anything. Not just a house- but a home. This duplex I live in is small, cold, doesn't have a good dishwasher and my washer and dryer are terrible. There are holes in the corners and scuffs on the walls, but it is a home. Next December, after graduation, the Lord may pick me up and move me somewhere new-- but until then, I will be thankful for what I have. For the thorny vines in my nest just as for the soft cotton. I am excited about a new semester with a beautiful friend and seeing how the Father helps us rebuild our home together.

I celebrate the day...

Though my heart is a flurry of excitement with the idea that I may have my first White Christmas tomorrow, that is not the reason I'm celebrating this Christmas season. I also can't wait to give my mom the present I've had in mind for a couple months now, but that's also not why I celebrate. Nor is it that I totally know I'm going to get this great dress (I didn't peek... I was there when my mom bought it), but again- I have a completely different reason for my joy tonight. That joy is totally all Christ. But when I look at the fact that He was born with a purpose- to die on a Cross- it's kind of depressing. My mom told me about a kid in one of the sunday school classes at her church. They were telling the Christmas story in sunday school, and while everyone else was happy, he raised his hand to ask:
"Wait... is that the same Jesus who dies on a cross?"
His teacher replied that yes, indeed it was. And with a sad look on his face, he raised his hand to ask another:
"But... why would God do that? Why did He have to make His son die?"

It's a question that perplexes me to this day. Why us, God? What makes us worthy? Nothing.
But in it all, God gets the glory that He deserves. Because Christ was born in a stable and died on a cross, God was glorified above all.

So why do I celebrate? Because Christ was born as a sacrifice for my sins. Because He died, I live. I not only live the life I was given when born of my parents- but I live a life that has been bought with his blood and is being sanctified. I can walk with Christ personally because He was born fully God and fully man. And above all, because God is glorified in the birth of a baby, so pure, by a virgin named Mary, in a humble stable in Bethlehem.

One of my favorite Christmas songs:

"When the babe was born.
In a manger on the hay.
God saw a veil torn.
He saw Good Friday.
He was born to die.

Gold laid before the Christ.
Incense, His presence is sweet.
Myrrh to signify victory over death's sting.
He was born to die.

It came in a dream.
To Joseph late one night.
That Herod sought the King.
But could not take His life.
He was born to die.

He said, "You won't take my life.
You won't take my life.
You won't take my life...
I lay it down."

We came here today
to celebrate His birth.
But let us not forget
why Jesus came to earth.
He was born to die."

- Thanks, Shane and Shane.

Setting My Crate On Fire

Chenn yo kase koun ya mwen lib,
Jezi so vele det mwen peye!
Ak anpil fos gras li renye-
La mous san fin, gras infini.


Dave Edwards told a story the other night about Henry Box Brown: A slave who shipped himself in a box to an abolitionist office in the north so that he would be free. For 27 hours days he was trapped in a small wooden crate, handled without care because that was the price of his freedom.
He went on to discuss how we ourselves were once slaves to sin- confined in our small wooden crate। However, Christ paid for us to be set free. With His blood, His death, He opened the lid on that crate and offered us a helping hand out of it.
We are no longer slaves to sin, but some of us still chill in our box. Others have been let out... but, like I have so often, hold on to that box, or move close to it, so we can climb back just in case we need to.
But, as Dave posed, would Henry Box Brown ever have gotten back in his box? No way. Not a chance. He was set FREE- so why would he choose to hold on to the bondage that held him in?

It was a story I needed to hear. I am so guilty of holding on to my crate that Christ let me out of. Little things that I know I need to let go of in order to be fully bonded to the Lord and not be held under sin. But I'm working to not only run from that box, but I'm lighting a match to set it on fire. This box can not and should not contain me- for it is not my master.



What's in your box? And why are you still holding on to it?
Set it on fire with me.


Romans 6.1-14
"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.

Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.

In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.
For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."

Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah

How long, O Lord, must I fight for joy?

The sorrows that bind me are so heavy sometimes. Father, I'm tired of fighting- I am becoming so weak. My heart aches for You, for Your will, Your people--

please, my GOD, have mercy on me!

I'm beaten, broken, bruised, bleeding, Lord, for your Name- for Your glory! I have rejoiced in my suffering and in Your never-ending grace... even still, I know there is a purpose:

I know You are exalted in my brokenness.

My Father, my Creator, my Saviour-- rescue me now from my sorrow. Deliver me into the hands of mercy, freedom, joy. There is power in Your hands, blessed Redeemer.

But Lord, if it is Your will that I continue to fight--

My King, I will fight.

I will be broken and used up for as long as I live.

And in that darkness,

I will fight for strength, for peace that only comes from You.

Holy One, remember me.

Worried about Obama's Speech?

A couple tidbits from authors who are not me regarding the speech and authority.

First. John Piper's blog from today:

I am stunned at the outcry against the President of the United States speaking to the youth of this nation about the importance of education.

I am embarrassed by the governor of my home state saying, that the president’s plan to address them is “disruptive . . . uninvited . . . and number three . . . I don’t think he needs to force it upon the nation’s school children.”

This speech seems, for me, to be an answer to a prayer that I have prayed for the president repeatedly.

Father, the condition of our schools and families is so broken that nothing seems to be working, especially for the poor in our urban centers. Help our president to have the courage to use his amazing place of influence to speak into this situation in such a way that boys and girls would take their studies seriously and put school above sport and homework above hiphop and graduation above gangs.

O, Lord, create a culture where it is not cool to fail. Give our President the courage to call all children, especially ones who feel hopeless about academic work, to fight for knowledge the way gangs fight for turf.

And as the President plans his speech, help him to feel as helpless as he really is to meet the greatest needs of the children, so that he turns to Jesus who alone has the answer for the ruin and the wrongs of our cities. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I hope my daughter hears the speech.

Secondly, an excerpt from a devotional book my dad has been reading. It's called Thoughts from the Diary of a Desparate Man by Walter A. Henrichson, written in 1999. The passage for today seemed very appropriate:

"If the anger of the ruler rises against you, do not leave your place,
for calmness will lay great offenses to rest." Ecclesiastes 10.4

God does not promise you that the authority He will place over your life will be good. Sometimes he puts you under the authority of rash people who are capricious in their behavior. When that happens, you must avoid two things:
First, don't become the slave of authority. You are solely the slave of God. Observe, inquire, and form opinions, but remember that you belong to Christ.
Second, don't despise your authority or rebel against the "system;" it is God-ordained. "There is no power but of God. The powers that be are ordained by God." (Romans 13.1)
Wardlaw said, "The weak reed, by bending in a rough wind receives no hurt, while the sturdy oak is torn up by it's roots." When authority is brash and unreasonable, don't resist it. Keep your mouth closed and God will quiet him down. "The Lord shall fight for you and you shall hold your peace." (Exodus 14.14) Solomon continues by suggesting that a wise person maintains objectivity and observes what is happening. It is difficult to place things in perspective during such times. Wisdom sees things as they are and responds properly rather than reacting.
Maintaining power over your spirit is a higher virtue than proving that you are right. You can only do this by remembering that God placed the authority over you and will not allow him to harm you.



I just encourage you to pray for our President rather than simply curse him. God is still God whether the leader of our nation is Republican, Democratic, Communist, White, Black, Asian, Jewish, Christian, or Athiest. God is still in control.